Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Stinky Daddy!


Have you ever had your Daddy come home from work and he STINKS!? My Daddy smells like oil and metal and old man sweat! I have found there is something you can do about the "not the mommy" smell. If your Daddy comes home stinky, then follow these steps and you will have a "mommy smelling" daddy in no time!

First, you have to make sure you eat before he gets home. If you have a dog that can warn you when he is pulling in, this can buy you time but if not, just wait till you hear his car. Then, ask Mommy for some boobyjuice or formula if that is what you drink.  Make sure you drink as much as possible, you are gonna need a very full tummy.

When he comes in the house, smile really big at him. If you aren't finished eating, don't worry, that will just give him time to relax before the de-stinking process. You have to have him lower his guard so make noises and reach for him so he really thinks you love him and want to cuddle.

Once you are in your Daddy's lap, you can start by spitting up just a little bit. Lean over his shirt when you do it. Now be careful not to use too much of your milk. He might pat your Back and hold a rag to catch anymore spitup. DON'T spit up at this point, just wait till he figures you are done. Then when you are on his chest, spit up a big puddle, you need enough that it covers a big area so he will take off his shirt. Again, be careful not to purge all of it, your Daddy will still be stinky at this point.

Now that you have his shirt off you can start the real work. Spit up on him in various spots, make sure to spread it out so be very sqwirmy and get as much of his chest hair as you can. He will use the rag to wipe it off, which will rub some of it in but you will have to help spread it around with your hands.  Try to get some on his shoulder and in his beard as well.

And there you have it, when your Daddy is completely covered in spit up, he will then smell much better and much more like Mommy.
Oh and Don't forget to rehydrate by asking Mommy for more boobyjuice or formula.

No comments:

Post a Comment

You might also like: