40. The new 50.

I went to the doctor today. I was interviewing a new one because my previous doctor informed me that after seeing her colleague and then her for 20 years, she is selling her practice. *sigh* I do not like breaking in new Doctors. They never listen to me.

Regardless, this new one was actually pretty great. So far. It was the first time in 20 years I have seen a male doctor  (other than the emergency doctors). I have trouble listening to male doctors because they seem to have this smug "oh you are just a silly woman" look on their face when I tell them that I have done the research and no, my lab results are to high! Being raised by an ER Doc and being a pharmacy assistant has given me just enough knowledge that I understand what is going on but don't really know what to do about it.

So anyways, this visit was a meet and greet. Though, he told me that playing with toddlers, assembly line diaper changing and having a preschool dance party doesn't qualify as "exercise". He wants me to go for an adult walk (aka faster than a toddlers pace ) everyday! He told me to take my husband. Not sure what good that will do, he is slower than the toddlers. 

 

He also told me to come back in 3 weeks so he can yell at me more. Nice.

Well then...

 

As I embark on this new healthier me journey I am forced to ponder why I have had such trouble doing this in the past and how I can make this time different, better or just.  Not.  Suck! My problem with these endeavors is that I hate doing it. I never feel better, just more tired and more itchy and more all around miserable.

 "They" say you will feel so much better, that the endorphins give you a high. Now I haven't done this in awhile but I never remember coming out of a walk or work out thinking I feel great! Even after self torturing myself through a few months of work outs, I always walk away exhausted and freaking itchy. It may be just me but I itch more after a workout. I itch constantly on a good day due to a chronic  hive condition,  why would I do anything to make that worse?

Another stumbling block I find is that I just have the time. The last thing I want to do once the kids are in bed is lace up my runners and go for a walk in -30c weather, then come home and shower and hope to get to bed at a decent time. 

Do you have a favorite time to exercise?  If you say early mornings, I will gawk at you then guffaw. My idea of getting up early is rolling out of bed with enough time to put my clothes on AND brush my hair and teeth before my doorbell is rung by arriving kids!

So whatever. I have committed to this and now everyone out there knows. So I can be accountable to all of you, right? At least I found my thing that I don't do well to get out there and fail at!

I am using the myFitnesspal app if anyone wants to follow my journey, you can friend me, just send me an email at leanne@cadadoodle.com

Staying safe

I’ve never revealed this… but I suck at running.

I know. Big revelation! What with my svelt figure, you'd think I ran every day!

Alas, no. When I run I feel all jerky, heck even when I walk sometimes I feel like an awkward robot, I am so stiff. And of course there is rippling of the thighs that isn't pleasant.

I am sure I suck at many things but that was the only one I could come up with.

No, not humble at all, eh?

New Year's resolutions... crump style

I hate making new year's resolutions.

 In fact, for the last few years, I haven't made any.

Don't get me wrong, I have goals, lots of them. I just found that I had the same stupid resolutions every stinking year and I ALWAYS failed, EPIC fail! So I decided one year that new year's resolutions were just to much pressure and I never succeeded anyways, so why bother. Instead, I set reasonable goals throughout the year and forgot about the "loose 150 lbs in 6 months" goals.

Something happened when I did that. I stopped beating myself up because I couldn't stick to a diet and what kind of moron thinks it is OK to cheat on a diet and have to binge the rest of the day cause after midnight, I couldn't eat again for 24 hours... Say what the ...?

 Nope. I was no longer